The Twisted Path of Cancer


Date: Friday, December 23rd, 2011

Time: Noon (and just woke up)

Status: Having “the gift”

Info:  I have a number of things on the “to do” list today, including clearing the gutters, and recycling about 60 pounds of glass and untold number of plastic water bottles.  My English bulldog “LuLu” has already received her morning dose of cookies and she now lies next to me as she does whenever I’m in the house.  Is it lucky dog, or lucky man? She has been by my side since we rescued her and I love her for it.  My three girls are also home now and LuLu remains by my side though her head is on a swivel trying to capture all the energy around here.

This is Bonnie’s blog and as you know we’ve had one helluva year dealing with her breast cancer this year.  Overall I have to say the year has been hugely successful, (considering the alternative).  Having a healthy wife, the mother to my children and my friend since meeting her on the floors of the cafeteria in our high school is and has been a kick-ass Christmas gift, one I will enjoy for the remainder of my days.

A recent blog identified a “challenge accepted” … Cindi, the Nurse Navigator from Sutter Women’s Health contacted me yesterday afternoon asking me to draft a brochure to sell the men’s support group.  Below is what I knocked out in response and wanted to share with you.

Cancer is &*)!(@’n everywhere – and men have a tough time being sold on any kind of “support system”.  This blog, as you know, was my support system – you, the reader, the commenter, the girlfriend, the sister, the bridesmaid, the interested, the concerned, the etcetera, the etcetera have been my support system.  Here’s the drafted brochure:

Men’s Cancer Support Group

 “I am a breast cancer survivor” – my name is Paul and although I am not the individual who underwent multiple biopsies, surgeries, and endless nights of unrest; I am the man who walked alongside his wife, held her hand and comforted her after learning she was afflicted with “ductal carcinoma”.  I heard those two words on the other end of the telephone one year ago and although I may not be able to teach a class on cancer definitions, I am capable of sitting down with you and talking you through the journey that is cancer.  The number of years you’ve been married or been with each other does not matter.  What does matter is your ability to ACCEPT it.  After you’ve accepted it, you can now help with the decisions to defeat this cancer. 

 I have been asked to start a Men’s Cancer Support Group based on the way I accepted the news of my wife’s breast cancer.  I would very much like to think my wife is breast cancer survivor because I am a loving husband, though nothing could be further from the truth.  My wife is a breast cancer survivor (I love those words) because of her inner strength.

 You will find your inner strength at this support group – believe me.  Your partner is a passenger in this journey and she will need someone to help her navigate the unknown in front of you both. 

 Come join me on Thursday evenings where we will learn to be breast cancer survivors together.

I love you all for following me along this twisted path.  Hopefully there’ll be many more in the following months.  More to follow.

Enjoy your gifts this year … this one is mine.

Love,

Paul

5 thoughts on “The Twisted Path of Cancer

  1. Pingback: Cer » The Twisted Path of Cancer « "Can"cer … We "CAN" beat this!

  2. It is a wonderful thing you are doing to help the many men who deal with this on a day to day basis…your experience will show them through your eyes how important a husbands support and love helps to get their loved one through the toughest of times…anything written by you would be a true asset to read and take to heart….your have a great lesson to help those in need…Love,determination, support,encouragement and most of all commitment through the whole process….hats off to a most amazing man…xoxo

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