The Dynamic of Trust


Date: April 6th, 2012

Time: Nearly Lunch

Status: The Dynamic of Trust

Info: I was asked a very unusual question the other day as it related to my work with this newly established Men’s Cancer Support Group.  A strikingly beautiful woman, whom I had just been introduced to, looked at me quizzically and asked “What would men have to discuss about breast cancer?” From the way she framed her question I wasn’t sure if I should be offended, so I responded naturally with a smart-ass comment and said “you know, football!” That was all she needed to hear.  Actually that’s exactly what she expected our men’s group discusses.  When I realized being a smart-ass was probably not the best choice, I let her know that our men’s group actually discusses all sorts of things including ways we can treat our wives and partners better, we discuss love, we discuss the navigation of these murky waters, we discuss the things we are going through, etc., etc.   I learned later this particular person had lost her husband due to cancer related illnesses while she herself was battling breast cancer, and she, unfortunately she still harbors some anger and I suppose that can be understood.  I just found it strange to be asked what men would actually discuss.  Don’t we [men] know as much about breast cancer as our partners? I know the gentlemen who attend our monthly meetings certainly do. In fact, I think we know, and continue to learn about this disease every minute of every day of our lives.  A new visitor joined our group last night and the meeting was super-charged with emotions.  Cindy allowed me to facilitate the majority of the session this evening and I felt very confident sitting there listening, injecting, laughing, crying and feeling joy and sorrow all at the same time when hearing the recent news from the two men looking for support.  It’s nice to know there’s this place in Santa Rosa where we can shake hands every month versus the alternative of sitting on a bar stool every night looking for answers in a fifth of Dr. Jack Daniels.  Our sessions have taken on a phenomenal dynamic of trust amongst each other and with Cindy’s help and guidance with medical terms we feel as though our cups runneth over as we walk to our cars and head back to what we know as another day with breast cancer.  This men’s group, as far as we know, is unique in the fact, it’s the only men’s group north of Monterey to the Oregon border and we actually walked away last night with a homework project.  We want to start advertising this group so men and women can find it easily on the internet, so one of the items we all have [feel free to respond] to work on is coming up with a name that really catches the attention of those in need.  I am going to start a brand new blog page this afternoon where I will post the Sutter Pacific Medical Foundation brochure and all posts related to our past meetings in hope men and women suffering from all types of cancer can attend.  Wish me luck as we continue.

Next meeting will be held at 5:30 PM at the Warrack Campus on 2448 Summerfield Road on May 3rd.

Love,

Paul

4 thoughts on “The Dynamic of Trust

  1. To elaberate on what men talk about, this group is here to allow a open forum to talk about our regular daily lives, work, relationships, sports, friendship ect. with our daily cancer life ie, fellings of sucess, failures, love, up and down of emotions, harddships ect. All in an open environment, without judgement, while creating new friedships along the way with men who are in similar situations.

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