The Los Angeles experiment has come to a close! In March, 2013 I accepted a position with the U.S. Government to work in Los Angeles. The decision to move to LA without my bride was one made out of a number of considerations; beautiful home along the river, oldest daughter residing in San Francisco and our youngest attending her first year in the northern outreaches of the Golden State. ¶ The decision was also made to get my foot in the door of the government while holding out faith and promise to return to the Bay area in a reasonable amount of time. ¶ Courtesy of a phenomenal travel agent (Bonnie) and Southwest Airlines I’ve been able to return home to Sonoma County nearly every weekend over this eighty week span, only to wake up at oh-so-dark-thirty on Monday mornings for a return flight to LAX. ¶ Relationships are forged on strong foundations and with this experiment coming to a close on Friday, October 17th, and starting a new job with the government in San Francisco next week. ¶ I am very fortunate to say, the foundation itself is not only twenty-six years strong, but getting stronger daily. ¶ Lucky dude for sure. ¶ So with just one more night having to be spent alone down here in the City of Angels, and my car packed and ready to roll … I find it appropriate to use the lyrics of a hometown band, the Beach Boys to dedicate the title for this post before I put LA in the rear view mirror! ¶ Honey, see you soon. With all my thanks and all the love in my heart … ¶ I may not always love you / But long as there are stars above you / You never need to doubt it / I’ll make you so sure about it / God only knows what I’d be without you / If you should ever leave me / Though life would still go on believe me / The world could show nothing to me / So what good would living do me / God only knows what I’d be without you / (God only knows what I’d be without you) / If you should ever leave me well life would still go on believe me / The world could show nothing to me / So what good would living do me / God only knows what I’d be without you / (God only knows what I’d be without you) / God only knows / God only knows what I’d be without you / God only knows what I’d be without you / God only knows / God only knows what I’d be without you / God only knows what I’d be without you / God only knows / God only knows what I’d be without you. ¶ Keeping her close, ♥ Paul
Archives
Negative Results = Positive News
Thanksgiving is and always has been my favorite holiday. Memories return images of childhood football games with kids in the neighborhood, to later growing up and not being home for the holiday which makes every Thanksgiving extremely special to now be with the ones you love and cherish. ¶ This year’s holiday was no exception as our annual pilgrimage down to the San Jose/Menlo Park area to feast upon cousin Arnie’s kitchen creations was a rinse and repeat session from years past. ¶ The kitchen is certainly the love center of any home during the holidays. The kitchen at our cousin’s also acted as the nerve center where the liquor was poured, the bird cooked and the pies were stacked. White Russians were the drink of the afternoon this year, and this liquid candy was just what the doctor ordered. ¶ Cousins Arnie and Micki travel from Florida each year for this celebration and it’s absolutely wonderful to spend this time with them, their daughter and granddaughter. ¶ With football games on in the background, and the masses huddled on the couch, our special girl was able to provide this portion of the family with some pretty darn special news, certainly news to be “thankful” for. ¶ Bonnie’s surgeon recently ordered a PETSCAN to ensure and validate no cancerous tumors or masses had leaked or spread further into her system. A PETSCAN, known in the medical field as a Positron Emission Tomography (PET) is an imaging test that uses a radioactive substance (called a tracer) to look for breast cancer. The tracer can help identify areas of cancer that an MRI or CT scan my miss. This scan requires a small amount of radioactive material given through a vein, usually on the inside of the elbow. It travels through the blood stream and collects in organs and tissues. The tracer helps the radiologist see certain areas or diseases more clearly. This breast PETSCAN is used only after a woman has been diagnosed with breast cancer. It is done to see if the cancer has spread to other parts of the body such as lymph nodes, liver, lung or bones. ¶ Bonnie’s diet for forty-eight hours prior to this event required her to abstain from carbohydrates, sugars, and caffeine. We called Starbucks prior to let them know their gold card member will not be in for two days!! We are very fortunate to live in an area where PETSCANS are available as they are very expensive and sophisticated tests requiring special expertise. ¶ Bonnie received the results of this PETSCAN on Wednesday, the afternoon before we packed our bags for our family Thanksgiving and the word “NEGATIVE” continues to be a very “POSITIVE” term in our lives. ¶ Sharing this with family during the Thanksgiving holiday is certainly one more reason to keep the glass holding the White Russian full (whipped cream if necessary)! ¶ We continue to be geographically separated, which gives stockholders of Southwest Airlines reason to rejoice, just as this news was regarding our special girl.
As a sidebar … please continue to think about sending me your thoughts regarding the post “YOUR TURN”. I look forward to hearing from you.
Keeping her close …
Love,
♥
Paul
Your Turn
“Words can help. Here are mine. What are yours?” has been the tagline for the “CANCER … WE “CAN” BEAT THIS!” blog since its inception in January, 2011. ¶ I find it hard to believe three years has nearly passed since launching a blog site dedicated to my wife, my friend, my bride, and now a breast cancer survivor with two-hundred and fifty-five posts on the subject. The original intent of the blog was to keep friends and family on the east coast notified of our challenges, and ultimately our achievements. ¶ The binary success of this blog has reached all fifty states and some forty-four countries across the globe! I remember early on after receiving the diagnosis when wine bottles seemed to be the order of the day, followed by a heavy dose of pain killers actually prescribed by her medical staff where weekends were normally spent on the laptop while Bonnie started her Vicadin Vacation; menus to plan, groceries to purchase, laundry to take care of and toil with the forty hours each week. ¶ All of that was over within a flash and here we are three years later with a very healthy, happy and beautiful woman who never once asked the question “why me?”. ¶ On my way into work this morning I planned this post to ask you this question … if you were in my shoes, what would you have done differently? I am asking you to write to me with what you’ve learned about breast cancer, care giving, parenting, and relationships after reading these posts. ¶ From now through the end of December, 2013 I am asking you to submit your thoughts in a word document to my personal email address to give your prospective on this subject. ¶ Nothing is off the table. I have no plans of closing shop on this blog, none whatsoever, and during the month of December I would love nothing more than reprinting your stories through this medium as a way of closing out these three past years. Thoughts? I truly want to hear from you. ¶ Sit back, think about it and send your work to my email address at: papapaul94952@live.com. Words can help, these have been mine … what are yours?
Keeping her close …
Love,
♥
Paul
My Fortune Cookie
I spend an awful lot of time aboard an aircraft. My week will start here in Los Angeles, but when the calendar turns its page three days from now you’ll find me packing the duffle bag I purchased in Sitka, Alaska nearly thirty years ago with my belongings for a weekend in San Francisco to be spent with my bride which aligns well with a recent fortune cookie which read “You will have a happy adventure soon.” ¶ Bonnie and I have been geographically separated now for nine months and after another wonderful and productive weekend in Northern California I find myself looking at the clock more than I should waiting for the afternoon whistle to blow so I can head to the apartment, unpack that duffle bag and throw my head down for a late afternoon-er. ¶ These nine months apart from each other have not been the easiest in the world for either of us, and I am without words to express my thanks for her unwavering independence. An attribute she picked up over the years while I was out to sea. In our twenty-five years with each other we’ve endured nearly a thousand inches of snow, numerous relocations, a devastating house fire, a hotel robbery, the tragic loss of her mother, battled and beat breast cancer and each morning she awakes with the same question she’s asked me since I’ve known her … “what time is it?” ¶ This past Sunday morning my response to that question was “10:00 AM” … her response? “Oh shit!” She had things to do that day, I had things to do as well and as she took her morning shower I could hear her humming which remains music to my ears. We all know the saying “a happy wife is a happy life”, and I’m here to tell you … that’s just what’s going on, geographically separated or not. ¶ Not only did she awake this morning at 3:30 AM to drive me into San Francisco for my early commuter flight back to Los Angeles, and then to return home, take care of a few things, and is now driving even further south of San Francisco into Silicon Valley to take care of her eleven-year old cousin for a week. If there’s one person anyone in this family can count on it’s the one person this blog is focused on; my wife Bonnie. ¶ After my nap this afternoon I’ll ramble down the street and say hello to all the cronies at Hacienda Playa, grab a bite to eat, see if I can talk the bartender into turning on a hockey game, have a few cold beers and heard back up the hill to the apartment for the evening. I’ll rinse and repeat this operation through Thursday night and what will my wife be doing? She’ll be taking care of her niece. Why? Because her cousin needed her to. ¶ People come into our lives in one way or another and as I look at the framed photograph of my wife here in front of my monitor I thank the day she came into mine. She’s truly one special young lady. One I’m fortunate enough to call my bride.
Keeping her close …
Love,
♥
Paul
The Pearl in the Oyster
There are days I walk alone down Pershing Avenue here in Playa del Rey and laugh at all the traffic heading south after a hard day’s work. I laugh because my day had ended a few hours before and now it’s time to head down to the local convenience store to purchase a power ball ticket and then wait at the crosswalk to walk over to Hacienda Playa for a few beers, some great Mexican food and watch whatever sporting event is on any one of their dozen flat screen televisions. Due to my Boston sports related superstitions, I do not watch any Boston related sporting event here at the Hacienda as the Celtics got blown out by nearly 30 points by the Knicks in the NBA playoffs a few months ago; have watched the Bruins get beat by the Toronto Maple Leafs in the 2013 Stanley Cup Playoffs; so it’s clear in my mind I’ll have to find another local establishment to watch the upcoming MLB playoffs this SOXTOBER. ¶ I recently returned to LA after a wonderful six day stretch with Bonnie and Taylor. Bonnie’s eighth breast cancer related surgery was at Marin General this past Monday to remove a suspicious “lump” identified by her surgeon Dr. Laura Norton during a recent check-up. There is no such thing as routine surgery, so anytime I can have one of my daughters with me it always an added benefit. After Bonnie was carted to surgery, Taylor and I left Marin General and did a little sightseeing at Fort Baker below the Golden Gate Bridge. We returned with an hour to spare and that damn clock in the waiting room was not my friend this time around as the hands ticked passed 1:PM, and then 1:30PM before Dr. Goodman (her plastic surgeon) walked in to tell me how well her surgery went and the lump appeared “benign”. Anytime a surgeon passes along this assessment is always good news, I don’t believe a professional would ever provide that information just to put a smile on my face. As we learned on Thursday at Bonnie’s follow-up with Dr. Goodman, the lump was nothing more than fatty necrosis. Whew!! ¶ So now the “separation” in this geographical separation with Bonnie and I plays its card again. Her facebook status the other day “And now he’s gone …” really saddened me, though this portion of the separation is limited to only a few days. I’ll be in line at the Southwest Airlines terminal again on Wednesday, the 25th to return to her arms again to celebrate our 25th! Dinner reservations already established, I just have to remember to pack the directions to the restaurant. Insert reminder here!! We have visitors coming to Sonoma County to help us celebrate our Silver Anniversary, the “Polish Posse” from New Britain, CT will be in the ‘hood and we cannot wait for their arrival. Margie, Bonnie’s maid of honor, her husband Ronnie, her sister Betsy and Betsy’s husband Teddy will truly make this a memorable 25th! Life with friends like this is the pearl in the oyster. The laugh-meter will be pegged the entire time. More to follow. ¶ Thank you all for your continued support, your questions, your heart-felt concern and the phone calls during Bonnie’s most recent surgery. We’ll be in each other’s arms soon … twenty-five years later, oh my!!
Keep her close.
Love,
Paul
That Just Happened!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaeWXbytIlg – THAT JUST HAPPENED!! ?? !!
So the link above is not only the title to our youngest daughter’s high school yearbook, but also helps give you an idea as to what just happened in our lives. I think the five minute video clip will do far more justice than the words I can express to you right now.
Men and women come into each other’s lives for a reason, how little did I know how blessed I would be from a chance meeting on the high school dance floor in our hometown of Beverly, MA thirty-six years ago.
Thank you all for your texts, your emails, your support these past two years during Bonnie’s fight with breast cancer, and most importantly for keeping her close!
That just friggin’ happened … one Memorial Day weekend that will remain in our memories forever.
Thank you Ellen, her production staff and the American Cancer Society – you all rock!
Love,
♥
Paul
No Teases Left – It’s Showtime!
I left you last with a tease … this post will help guide to where the mocker leads today. ¶ I’ve pulled a few gags on my bride in the past twenty-four years. One of the gems was on her fortieth birthday when we figuratively took over a local nightclub with friends celebrating her birthday. Birthdays are big with Bonnie, really big. Her specialty on birthdays for our two girls begins at breakfast, goes through midday and does not end until the sun has long since left its mark on the day. The quip that year included a mid-afternoon phone call indicating I was going to be late and please start without me. “An emergency had come up at work requiring my presence, not to worry I will be there as soon as this problem is fixed.” I had actually taken a half-day at work and my afternoon was spent at the Charleston International Airport where I awaited the arrival of Bonnie’s childhood friend Mary, inbound from Boston. 🙂 ¶ Upon arrival at the party I made my way in and found everyone already in a highly celebratory mood and when I found Bonnie amidst all the revelry I hugged her, said hello and slipped to the side and there was Mary standing there! She knew immediately the wool had been pulled over her eyes and with Mary there for her party and to celebrate a weekends worth of toasts I was forgiven for the ruse. ¶ Phone calls and extremely heated texts yesterday have me completely on the edge right now as we are currently in Phase II of this new deception. ¶ Let’s first set the stage … it’s currently Thursday, the 23rd of May, nearly 10:AM and here I sit in the bedroom of this rented apartment with my luggage on the bed. I called Bonnie at 4:15 this morning to ensure she was awake and she was completely prepared for a morning drive to San Francisco International with Taylor and Logan alongside for a flight to Los Angeles. She arrived at LAX approximately 8:45 this morning and I was not there to meet her and the girls. Why? The story I started yesterday morning included a network outage requiring my attention, etc., etc. When she learned I would not be able to meet her at LAX – suffice it say the fireworks were of the type the male readers of this blog can certainly understand to be those we want to keep at an absolute minimum! ¶ I spent yesterday morning in Burbank, CA – in particular, at the Warner Brothers studio location where I met with Brian, Alyssa, Erin and Phillip, all employees of … “The Ellen” show!! ¶ We have all been invited to “The Ellen” show as guests and over the course of the past six or seven months have been engaged in regular communications with the production team putting together the story of Bonnie and Paul, highlighting our special girl’s breast cancer diagnosis, the toils, and her ultimate achievements. ¶ The staff provided me directions to the Warner Brothers lot, the parking garage across the street, how to gain access to Studio #3, etc., etc., but I was not to inform Bonnie of this. ¶ Brian provided me a tour of this phenomenal studio, sound stage, production rooms, VIP rooms, Ellen’s office, et al yesterday where Ellen does her thing, and upon completion of this walk-around I was escorted outside on a golf cart where we were driven to a location to shoot a video of me explaining to Bonnie (as though she was there in the lens of Erin’s camera) how sorry I am not to be there today, how much I love her, how proud I am of her becoming a breast cancer survivor. ¶ This simple video shoot was extremely difficult to put together – for me anyways. The Ellen production staff explained that during the taping Ellen herself may walk out into the audience, and ask Bonnie to the stage. They were quite clear that this may NOT take place as well, as there are no guarantees, but under no circumstances did they want me to let the cat out of the bag. ¶ So now the girls are being chauffeured to Burbank in a Mercedes Benz limo with a full day of dealing with those same individuals I had met the day before. ¶ This entire process is quite surreal – believe me! ¶ The Ellen show has arranged for a driver who will arrive at my residence this afternoon at 3:30 to take me to Burbank where I will be met by Brian who will surreptitiously shuttle me to the green room where I can watch the show being taped. I suspect at some point this afternoon I will appear on the stage where Bonnie, Taylor, Logan and Ellen sit and I can only simply imagine how fast my heart will be racing when this event takes place. Again, there is no guarantee this will happen, and I I’m convinced my videotaping session from yesterday to be the reason. I felt tight, strained and unnatural while discussing how I feel about the woman I have not seen for five weeks, yes, the same woman I have lied to about not being front and center in baggage claim when she and the girls arrived earlier this morning. ¶ Man, I hope this works …¶ Regardless, I will be with all my girls later this afternoon and staying at the Sheraton Universal City, courtesy of The Ellen Show, in Universal City, CA this evening. Saturday morning a limo will then return us all to LAX for a flight back to SFO and a Memorial Day weekend back, one in which we will NEVER forget, in our home along the river in Petaluma. I really got beat up yesterday, and deservedly so … fingers crossed that it was all worth it! ¶ No teases left … least not for now.
Keeping her closer than ever!
Love,
♥
Paul
The American Diner
Still in operation today!
It’s quite possible I have the internal hobo to thank for my love of the American Diner. Flying solo down here in Los Angeles with no one to share breakfast and a surplus inventory of American Diners to experience is an absolute must. The funny thing about finding them is [the diner] it does not pop up on your GPS as readily as say a Home Depot or a CVS. Finding it is half the thrill, the other comes from sitting at the bar, taking in the atmosphere, listening to the regulars, reading the menus that almost always provide the same fare. ¶ Tracing back my love of the diner dates back to the early 1960’s. As a young boy I used to help my dad deliver the morning Boston Globe and Record American. His route would take us through the quiet little towns of Hamilton, Wenham, and Ipswich. This little side job for my dad was seven days a week, so my alarm clock in the summer months was always set for 4:30 or so, and on the weekends. I’d sit in the back of his convertible VW bug folding the morning paper as fast as possible before the first house on the route. ¶ I’m pretty sure my dad could feel the same level of excitement on Saturday mornings as we tossed that last Globe towards the door because we both knew our next stop was a favorite little diner of his in Hamilton. The name of which escapes me, though this was truly the reward for the past two hours of playing paper boy. In those days the diner was always full of men talking about whatever Boston sports team was in season, and debates on off track betting. Sitting there opened my eyes to the world of male deliberations and I’ve never forgotten how special it made me feel. Sundays were reserved for Dunkin’ Donuts where a dozen donuts cost .99 cents. I’d slip the change of 1 cent into the box full of crullers, honey dips, jellies and Boston creams for my brother and sister. The two would later search of the penny, the winner of the penny would get the first choice of delectable delights awaiting them. ¶ If you search hard enough in the previous two-hundred and forty two posts related to this blog I can almost bet there’s mention to my lifelong dream of owning and operating a breakfast diner to serve a wide variety of dishes to the area working men and women. ¶ According to Wikipedia, the diner itself originated on the east coast, though I will tell you as a resident here in Playa del Rey, CA there is no shortage of unique egg-dish eateries, not at all. This morning’s list of to-do’s required a trip to the local CVS for some Velcro and with that out of the way it was time to use my internal Portuguese navigation to find just such an establishment. ¶ Rolling along Sepulveda Blvd this morning I saw the sign which read “Dinah’s Family Restaurant” … the first good sign was the incredible difficulty in finding a parking spot. This is where the happy hobo comes into play and if there’s a counter with stools present then I’m “all in!” ¶ Those regulars I listened to as a young boy were only a few stools down from me discussing muscle cars while giving the waitress a fair amount of good- natured ribbing on how they wanted their meals prepared. ¶ The environment of the morning diner is alive and well out here and the two at the end of the counter are more than likely still sitting there. Clearly neither of them is interested in the morning NHL playoff game between Chicago and Detroit. ¶ Bonnie and I chatted with each other this morning as her day was getting started. We’ll be seeing each other soon for the Memorial Day weekend, and oddly enough the original plans for me heading north changed yesterday. We learned a pretty special development taking shape next week which means all the girls will be heading my way … much more to discuss on this subject as it takes place. Oddly enough this blog for our special girl actually had something to do with it. Is that enough of a tease?
Happy Birthday Grammy!
Keep her close.
Love,
♥
Paul
The Corner of Lost and Found
A little preface for this post since it’s been a while since my fingers have been on the keyboard for just such a purpose. I’ve been living in Los Angeles since the middle of March … Bonnie and I are both fine, thanks for asking … this move was a professional one which involves a job with far reaching possibilities. When the job was offered we both jumped up and down with such emotion never realizing just how far four-hundred and fifty miles really is when you just want to be next to the person you dream about, the person you regularly think about, the person that makes you want to be the person you’re aspiring to be … so one morning sitting on the corner after a wonderful walk (have lost 19 pounds since arriving … thanks again for asking 🙂 ) … I sat on the couch outside the smallest bar in Los Angeles known as The Harbor Room and watched the world go by and penned this little number in my head. Fortunately I’ve still got enough RAM left in this size 7.5 squash above my shoulders to remember the words long enough to get them to those that I wish to read them the most …
I do apologize for my absence and hope you understand … for a couple months there I was just “lost” … and thanks to the support of my wonderful wife and two loving daughters … I have been “found” … hence, the following.
Enjoy.
Lost and Found
Standing at the corner of Lost and Found
Watching the world, sights and sound
It was here a realization dawned
To games of yore where bishops took pawn
Long nights, bar fights and tabs to pay
A clock ticked on the future, little to say
Once I was lost and on top of my game
A wife, a home, children to name
Great times, travels, decisions, smiles
Newsprint shows five plus decades
Nearly three of them with my wife
It’s now I understand the games
Will have to wait, months of few
Where the corner of Lost and Found
Witnesses many without a clue
That’s not me any longer
My bride, my partner and of course …
The corner of Lost and Found …
Has made me stronger.
May 4, 2013
Keep her close,
Love,
♥
Paul
Great to be Back
NO, I didn’t lose my fingers in a wood chipping accident, and YES it has been some time; 38 days to be exact since posting. Perhaps the longest duration without providing any thought to paper on this page. Let’s just say the past five weeks or so have been a challenge to the two of us. ¶ So what did it take to get me back in front of the typewriter today? Glad you asked. I facilitated a men’s cancer support group last night – the gathering was smaller than expected which provided me a wonderful opportunity to go one-on-one with the newest participant. Cindi and I were able to share a few minutes with each other before our meeting started and I felt extremely comfortable exchanging thoughts and ideas with the gentleman who scheduled his time to share his thoughts, ideas and questions on the new journey he and his wife are on. ¶ I distinctly remember using the word “achievements” last night as I discussed the blog with him, and it turns out his wife enjoys writing so the first email of the day was sent to him with instructions for learning WordPress® and the link to this blog. ¶ It feels great to be back in the game. In my time away it was nice to see readership continued and we can welcome Japan as the thirty-seventh country who has visited the site to who I say “乗り物に乗って歓迎” ¶ While the gentlemen of Aerosmith fill the office this morning with their lyrics to “Mama Kin” I settle in for one extremely long day here in the office before our weekend begins. ¶ Happy Holidays to all of you and here’s hoping for a year that brings us health, peace, smiles and blessed fortune wherever your travels take you. Great to be back.
Love,
♥
Paul
CANCER ... We "CAN" beat this! 